Women jokes

The difference between women and beer is that beer makes you happy for nothing, why women make you angry for nothing.

A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."

We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!

I'm looking for women. Put your height, weight, and bra size in the comments.

Flippity floppity, women are property.

I like my women like I like my eggs. Beaten against a table until her insides come out.

How many genders are there?

One, women are property.

Wanna know something funny?

- Women's rights.

A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him, "Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it.

The genie says, "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guy says, "Well, I've always wanted to drive out to the Hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says, "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says, "Well, I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could, but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women." The genie thinks for a few moments and says, "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"

Women are like dogs...

"Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?"

"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"

"I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."

SHOES

I like my women like I like my steak...

Bloody.

What's 10 inches and makes women scream?

Cot death!

I like my women like I like my coffee.

Dark, rich, and imported.

What do women and airplanes have in common?

A cockpit.

I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.

Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.

Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(

I like my women like I like my chocolate.

Edible.

The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.

There is a man and a woman on a date.

The woman asked what kind of things do you love?

The table starts to lift up on the man's side and the man says sorry.

I like my woman like I like my wine, 12 years old and locked in the basement.