Women jokes
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
Why does it take longer for women to orgasm than men?
Who cares?
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.
He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."
He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."
Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
I like my couches like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.
Women’s rights.
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.
The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.
Why do men have penises? They gotta shut women up somehow.
I like my cigars like I like my women:
Seven years old coming from Cuba in a burlap sack.
I like my women like a day: 24 year olds. 24 hours of fun.
Hippity hoppity, women are property!
What’s the difference between women and condoms?
There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.
Why does God hate me?
Because I'm a gay minority who fights for women's rights.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
What is 6 inches long and makes women scream? Stillbirth...
What’s worse than giving women rights?
Having them. In the first place.
A 90 year old man takes a Viagra.
Strips off naked, lies down in an alley way. Three chicks walk on by: a blond, a brunette, and a red head.
The red head said, "I'm not letting that go to waste," so she strips off and rides him. When she's finished,
The brunette then strips off naked and rides him. The blond's now worried because she just got her period. The red head sez, "He's dead. Don't let it go to waste," so she strips off naked and rides him. Then he wakes up. He then says, "Wow, two jump starts and a blood transfusion. I'm good to go!"
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.