What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
Woman Jokes
Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.
I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
What's the difference between women and men?
Men have rights.
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
