Woman jokes

This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.

This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.

What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?

"Nice tits."

How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?

Stick a chicken wing up there.

I like my women like I like my scotch:

12 years old and mixed with coke.

What kind of experience does a feminazi have for being a feminist?

Being a bitch.

I rule my women with an IRON FIST!!

Yeah, literally an iron that my fist is clenching against her face.

I like my women how I like my bacon.

Well Dunn!!!

I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.

Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!

Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.

Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.

What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?

They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.

If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?

Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.

That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!

Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?

Because she's a woman.

If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?

Women have eggs and milk in them...

And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.

What do women and pools have in common?

They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.

If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:

So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.