I asked the gym trainer what type of machine i should use to get the best looking women
He said the ATM outside
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him tampon and ask him what period it came from
How does a woman scare a gynecologist
By becoming ventriloquist
There is a lot of difference between a man and woman saying,
"I went through a whole box of Tissues watching that movie"
A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"
Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"
"Our wedding video
I saw a homeless dude and gave him 1$
I saw a homeless woman and gave her 0.77$
Homeless man sees a woman about to jump off a bridge
A homeless man is walking along a road, and comes across a bridge. On the bridge is a woman standing on the railing, clearly about to jump. He approaches the woman.
"Hey lady, are you about to jump?"
"Back off! If you come any closer, I'll do it!" she replies.
"Well, that's fine," he says, "but before you do, can I ask a favor? I'm pretty down on my luck, and it's been a long time since I've felt the touch of a woman, so if it's all the same to you, would you have sex with me first?"
"Eww no, fuck off you creep!" the woman shouts back.
"Fine," the man says. "I'll just go wait at the bottom."
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high ranking position in the US Government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
Why are women like KFC?
After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.
What do you get when you cross A-rod with Chris brown
Cheater cheater woman beater
What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman
The back of my hand
What's 2ft long, blue and stiff and keeps a woman up all night????
Cot death.
I asked the homeless woman if I could take her home she said yes, so I took it
A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?" The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again." An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them." A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream." If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off? A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect." "Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
There are 3 Genders
1: Man
2: Woman
3: Mentally ill
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
What is the difference between a woman and a ice? The ice always comes back
“I had a great day today Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, 'Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?'"
