My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...
She couldn't do either!
Woman Jokes
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.
What do you call a black woman?
A Nigg-girl.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
It only takes 4 inches to please a woman.
And it doesn’t matter if it’s credit or debit.
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.
A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.
A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
