I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead, I scratched it off and won a fucking ford focus!
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you. She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.
How did Rihanna find out? Chris Brown was cheating on her Found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break? Her Boner
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number
Three ladies were on a flight, when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing." The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich, and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great t*ts and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."
Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold. I'm talking about being born a black man, and dying a white woman. Incredible.
A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”
The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist
Google is a woman because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before it makes suggestions.
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
I like my wine like my women 16 and in my basement
I cunt not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunt nots to believe there is nothing cunt do. BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman? Getting her husband‘s voice just right
Why is it that skinny man love fat woman? Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer
What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange A black Woman dressed for church
Why do women hate having sex with midgets?
Because of their shortcomings.
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf and sex."
