What do women, tornadoes, and hurricanes have in common? They all get the house.
How do you tell when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
Woman jokes aren't funny, period.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Women.
A guy finds a genie.
He says, "I wish I was better at talking to women."
"Poof!" the genie says, "You're gay!"
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?
Give her a shovel.
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
