Woman jokes

Women are like dogs...

"Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?"

"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"

"I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."

SHOES

I like my women like I like my steak...

Bloody.

Wanna hear a joke?

Woman's rights.

What's 10 inches and makes women scream?

Cot death!

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.

If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?

The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.

So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.

I like my women how I like my cigars: 7 years old and coming from Cuban in a burlap sack.

I like my women like I like my coffee.

Dark, rich, and imported.

What do women and airplanes have in common?

A cockpit.

What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?

He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.

Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.

My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^

Pontypool is rough.

I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.

I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.

Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.

Woman one: "I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell!"

Woman two: "Did that work?"

Woman one: "Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house."

Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.

Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(

I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.

I like my women like I like my chocolate.

Edible.