Without jokes

What do you call a cow without any legs?

Ground beef!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa

My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.

Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet... What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))

There was a news story the other day where a magician disappeared. He was like "At the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Dos," and he disappeared without a trace.

Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,

And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.

What do you call a dog without legs?

Nothing, it won't come either way.

A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."

A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."

<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*

Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."

What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?

"We are in the endgame now!"

Why do tables never need wheelchairs? Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.

A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation, the man yelled, "FREE DISHWASHER!"

Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"

Orphan: -no response-

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef......haha.....no one likes my jokes.

Why did I f*** my dad?

So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?

Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.

About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."

I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."

Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"

What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?

A T-ex.

What do you call a fish without eyes?

- Fsh.

What do you call a Mexican without a car?

Carlos.

I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!