The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? -- A pool table.
A wise man once told me: 'If you poke the bear in prison The bear will happily return the favour, when its times to shower'
I was playing a tennis match against a girl and said "I will fuck you up", she said "try me", so that's exactly what I did and I won by forfeit as she ended up running away crying
Abner’s wife was laying on her death bed. She suddenly used all her strength to sit up and say to her husband, “I must tell you something, or my soul will never know peace. I have been unfaithful to you, Abner. In this very house, not one month ago.” “Hush, dear,” soothed Abner. “I know all about it. Why else have I poisoned you?”
A Pedophile pulls up to little Jonny, lowers his window and asks, “hey little boy, if I give you a Lolly will you come in my car?” Little Jonny, “give me the whole packet and I’ll come in your mouth”
I will pay someone to kill me
Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!
Me: Dont worry, it will all be over soon mom!
Mom: ❓❓❓
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty”
That’s when Penaldo asked “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
Q- What will we give to a sick lemon? A- Lemon aid.
Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!” Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?” Source: http://jokesfan.com/little-johnny-jokes.html
My mom said she will slam me head into my computer of I don't get of it, I'm not to worried though, I think she is just jhehus,d.kes,jdhcuya71,hshh.jdh
this post will get no commets or likes.
There is thin line between death and life !! You won't live to see it .....
The Cardiogram will !!
Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop
A priest is drowning in a river... A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says "leave me alone, god will save me." The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn't you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn't take them! "
What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after she was done licking her pussy after she was done having her blood period? I will be back next month
My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard.
I dont thing shelsjkdvklserdhcvjskrldfjlbudrjkfhbverjksfbhvyuksejfvsuil.w35xfc.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
