Why did the moron throw his clock out the window?

The clocks reminded him of Richard Clock, the convict who knife-raped his wife.

I would say something funny but I would have to dig someone up

Wife:hi babe Husband:Hey Wife:Do u wanna Husband:YES Wife:Ok make sure you have a towel to go to the beach Husband:WHAT you mean go to the beach Wife:yes what did u think i ment Husband:oh nothing bye Wife:Bye see u there

Wife: Hi honey im pregnant.

Husband: Hi pregnant im dad.

Wife: No your not…

My girlfriend accused me of cheating and i said to her, your starting to sound like my wife.

What did the man say to his wife, wanna play

One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. ‘Why are you early, it is not even christmas?’

• ho, ho. Don’t worry about me. Lets worry about you instead’ says Santa. What is the problem my friend?’
• I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house.' Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i’ll give it to you-' Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!

I said to my wife that she’s that ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back

my wife accused me of cheating I told her she started to sound like my wife

Ttt

My wife left me yesterday. I haven’t Talked to the kids in a year

Why does Dr Pepper come in a bottle?

Because his wife died 🤧

My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children. If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

THE TUPPERWARE PEOPLE CAME TO OUR HOUSE. THEY ASKED MY WIFE WHERE’S KITCHEN. SORRY I HAVE ONLY LIVED HTERE FOR 3 MONTHS. BUT MY JEWELRY IS UP STAIRS IN MY JEWELRY BOX LOCATED IN MY BEDROOM

I TOLD MY WIFE SHE WAS LOUSY IN BED SHE REPLIED I GUESS YOU HAVE BEEN SEEING YOUR X GIRLFRIEND UH

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My wife left me and took the kids

When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf? When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice…

When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf? When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice…

An old man saw the TikTok trend of people throwing it back the old man wanted to do it with his wife the man set up everything needed a did the video I threw it back first then his wife bust instead of an old lady it was ashes