There was a cannibal who had a wife and (eight) kids.

“guess what my wife left in the freezer”

“her miscarriage”

Wife:Honey im pregnant

Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad

Wife:No you’re not

I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff

Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife in his car and know one could see him. He threw the body out the car and thew the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife is dead and to come to the sene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops amediently arrested him. Why? ANSWER: The cops never said qhere the sene of the crime is.

why does dr. pepper come in a bottle his wife died

Kid -dad I want santa to give me iphone Indian poor dad- son santa is deaf Kid-no he is not I saw him on Tv yesterday Indian poor dad-oh actually I asked him to for a new wife may be he is wearing AirPods Kid-you are my santa daddy Indian poor dad- pull down you pants son Kid-it’s not apple product Indian poor dad -its banana

A wife and husband had been on a strict diet and the wife said yaknow weve been good about our diet lets have a cheat night tonight. The wife came home with kfc and wendys. the husband came home with sylvia from the office.

The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t

There was a dude. He had a mondo dong. His wife was like, yo, where are your balls? The dude says he left them in the fridge. His wife replies “i knew those meatballs tasted weird!”

A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read “Hey im sorry i had to tell you like this but i have been doing your wife for months now” The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying “Sorry meant using your wifi”

H: walks into bedroom Why are you packing your bags?

W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.

Later that day

W: walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags What are you doing?

H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.

why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.

My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”

Julius’s wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).

What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?

“Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”

An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called “Lenin in Poland.” When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin’s wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.

“But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?” Asks one of the guests.

“Lenin is in Poland,” replies the painter.

Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.

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