The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
Said the man angered to his wife: Now stopp the dann suicide trys! Just look at the gasbill!?
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer? A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
A wife says to her husband 'you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back' 'what do you expect' he says 'you're in a fucking wheelchair'
My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erect*on?” Wife: “ok... what is it?” Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now”.
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again. Husband: Wait dear.. Don’t do it for the sake of our kid! Wife: Kid? Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
Roses are red Violets are blue Your wife needs Jon grudon too.
A man find out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees. Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says “I can save you $100”
Husband: Dammit alice! I'm your husband and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you! Wife: Go to hell Bob! I'm Leaving! Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night she’s back in bed
I have a riddle for u;
10 people are on a boat But they all die due to a tsunami except the captain Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat” Once he eats it, he starts crying Why?
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain. The email reads: „Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here“.
It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.
What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?
They both have to stay in the kitchen.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
My wife said if I rape her again she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet
One knight a guy asked his wife were she wanted to eat she said Chinese food so he flew her to china the next night he asked her what she wanted to eat she said Indian food so he flew her to India the last night he said what do you want to eat and she said she wanted nothing so he flew her to Africa
