Why jokes
Me: Hey, were you born on a highway?
My enemy: Uh, no, why?
Me: Because that’s where most accidents happen.
Why can’t USA and England play chess?
The USA has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they always return.
Why is LeBron James an orphan?
Because he doesn't use WhatsApp.
Why is someone disliking my posts?!?
Why do you have to wipe yourself with toilet paper? Because bugs can crawl, eat your poop, and drink your pee!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't have a home to run to.
Why was the noble gas not emo?
Because they were thinking RIGHT.
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Why is Hitler a hjhjfbfhf? Because he’s Hitler!
Why are orphans gay?
They call everyone "daddy."
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday? They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old.
She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence (Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.
Why did the rapper become a barber?
To give everyone FRESH CUTS.
Q. Why can't orphans play baseball?
A. Because they don't know where home is.
Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!
Why did the gym close down?
Because it just didn't work out.