Why jokes
Why was 10 afraid?
Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.
Why did potassium draw a tear that would result in him crying?
Because all of his friends argon.
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of data.
Memes
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...
"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
"Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.
(Later)
"Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
Why are washers better than babies?
Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.
Why was the orphan single? Because it could not call someone "daddy".
Why does a girl orphan want a boyfriend?
To finally call someone Daddy!
Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!
Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?
He can't choose between black or white.
Why is there only 363 days in an orphan calendar? Because they don't have Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.
Why are the Americans good at Rubik's cubes? Because they have a long history of separating colors.
Why do orphans love drinking water? Because they have no milk to drink!
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy".