why do we not have female magicians because last time we had them we burned them alive
Why can’t orphans play poker because they don’t know what a full house is
A priest is drowning in a river... A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says "leave me alone, god will save me." The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn't you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn't take them! "
A girl asks her Asian boyfriend if he wants to eat her pussy. He asks her why she is taking off her clothes, instead of cooking her cat.
why did stephen hawkins wife get annoyed with him? He had an affair with Alexa
Why did the cheetah get disqualified?
Because he was a cheetah DUH!
Why don't dinosaurs lay eggs? Because they're EGGstinct!
Why are cows such great dancers?
They have all the best moooves!
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? because he had no balls to do it
Why was the clown sad
He broke his funny bone. Ps: funny bone is not actually a bone
Why does a heterosexual man believe that if a heterosexual man gets his dick sucked by another heterosexual man it's called a brojob? because it's male bonding
Why wasn’t the moon 🌕 hungry?
Because it was full!
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.
Two friends who've been bros for forever see each other in Wal-Mart in the card section. The first guy asks what he got his wife for her birthday. The second guy tells him he got her a Maserati and a card. The first guy tells him he got his wife a card and a dildo for her birthday. The second guy asks why he got his wife a dildo for her birthday. The first guy says, "If she doesn't like the card I got her, then she can go fuck herself!"
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
Why are Americans so bad at clash royal?
They already lost two towers
Why can’t Indian women drive?
They’re too used to riding their camels
Why do Nazis don’t wear necklaces,rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.
Why was tickle me Elmo upset when he left the factory? Because they only gave him one test tickle
Why do Orphans go to Chruch? So that they can call someone Father
