Why jokes
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. I see the world through eyes covered in ink and bleach. Cross out the ones who heard my cries and watched me weep. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.
Tape my eyes open to force reality (oh no, no). Why can't you just let me eat my weight in glee? I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. Some days I feel skinnier than all the other days, And some days I can't tell if my body belongs to me. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.
I wanna taste your content. Hold your breath and feel the tension. Devils hide behind redemption. Honesty is a one-way gate to hell. I wanna taste consumption. Breathe faster to waste oxygen. Hear the children sing aloud. It's music 'til the wick burns out. Hush.
Just wanna be carefree lately, yeah. Just kicking up daisies. Got one too many quarters in my pockets. Count 'em like the four-leaf clovers in my locket. Untied laces, yeah. Just tripping on daydreams. Got dirty little lullabies playing on repeat. Might as well just rot around the nursery and count sheep.
Why do gay people only stand crooked? Cuz they can’t be straight.
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
Why do people hate math? They always get hungry while learning about the pie chart.
Why did the cow wiggle?
To make milkshake! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why can black people post offensive jokes about making fun of white people, but white people can't post offensive jokes about making fun of black people? Because white people have white privilege. What happened to freedom of speech?
Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
Why did the cow cross the road to go to the moovies?
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
Why did the mop lick the floor of the bathroom? Because it was so poopy.
There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbbells tables, but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up.
The manager then walked over to him and asked, "You're hogging the dumbbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.
Why can’t two Asians make a white kid?
Because two wrongs don’t make a white.
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.
You are the reason why child abortion still exists in the world.
Q: Why doesn’t Toledo have a professional football team?
A: Because then, Cincinnati would want one.
Anonymous: This guy reads everyone's jokes, but why doesn't he answer his mom?