Why jokes
Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.
Why is America so bad at Clash of Clans? Because we already lost two towers.
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
Why though?
Why don't gay men perform anilingus on each other in Greece?
Because anilingus is against the law in Greece.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
Why did the rapper get lost in the music?
Because he couldn't find the beat.
The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied, so I encouraged him to stand up for himself. I don't know why he started crying.
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
Why is Texas the worst state ever?
They only have one star.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
Why can’t orphans do homeschool? They don’t have a home to do so.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because there was a power cut.
Why is England's team unfair in chess?
Because 2 rooks = 10 and a queen = 9.
Why couldn’t the booty stay calm?
Because it was on crack.
Why was the entire population emo in the 1920s?
Because it was the Great Depression.
Why did Germany win World War Two? Wait—that's not right... um... excuse me while I look up who won the war...
*disconnected*