Why jokes

Asphalt

  • Why does new pavement smell like butt?

    In other words you can also call it asphalt.

    Ass-phalt.

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  • Lawyer

  • A drunk walks into a bar and says, "All lawyers are assholes!" A guy at the other end of the bar says, "I resent that!" The drunk says, "Why, are you a lawyer?" and the other guy says, "No, I'm an asshole!"

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  • Shooting

  • GF: Laying down.

    BF: GROANING

    GF: Are you good at aiming and shooting?

    BF: Yeah, why?

    GF: Shoot that did in there.

    BF: Mmmhuugh

    Divorce

  • Why did Mrs. Henderson get a divorce from her husband, Harry?

    She was tired of everyone calling the family "Hairy" and the Hendersons.

    Kid

  • Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?

    A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.

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  • Chore

  • Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.

    "Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."

    Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"