Why jokes

Jail

  • I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.

    Piano

  • Why was the piano waiting at the front door?

    Because it forgot which key to use!

  • 0
  • Hockey

  • Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?

    It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.

  • 3
  • Wife

  • Two drunk men spot a pig on some old farmer's land.

    And they were real hungry (or so they said), and they both decided to take the pig with them into their car and eat it somewhere.

    And so they did, and the farmer came out with a gun while they hurriedly drove off, and the farmer said, "Well goddammit, if it was a pig they wanted, why didn't they just take my wife?"

  • 3
  • Pedo

  • A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."

  • 1
  • Man

  • A man sits in a bar and gets seriously drunk to the point where he vomits on his shirt. He panics.

    The bartender asked, "What's wrong, sir?"

    The man replies, "I got drunk and vomited, my wife will kill me."

    The bartender says, "Put $20 in the shirt and say someone puked on you and they paid you for the wash."

    So the man walks out with the $20 he put in his shirt pocket. The next day, the wife said, "Why is there vomit on your shirt?"

    The man says, "Someone puked on me and gave me $20 bucks for the wash."

    The wife pulls out the money. "There is $40," says the wife.

    "Oh, he also peed on me and paid for the wash, too." The man walks away believing he didn't get caught by his wife.

  • 2
  • Emo

  • Me people call me emo.

    Older cousin: Why?

    Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.

  • 1