Why jokes
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
One day a Chief was talking to his son... "Son," the father said, "Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"
Why did the skeleton want a friend? Because he was feeling bonely.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered a minor.
Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?
Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?
Because he fell off his wheelchair.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
Why can't two Asians make a white baby? Because two "Wong's" don't make a white.
Why does Ezra Miller’s Flash run in a straight line in The Flash movie? Bro ain’t straight.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
Why shouldn't you trust trees? Because they seem shady.
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
Why did the Vampire put his son up for adoption?
He thought his son sucked!
Why is the US so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.