Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices
Why does sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists
A drunk walks into and says, "All lawyers are a$$holes!" A guy at the other end of the bar says, "I resent that!" The drunk says, "Why, are you a lawyer?" and the other guy says, "No, I'm an a$$hole!"
Why are babies called bundles of joys? When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.
why cant a orphan play family fued because it has to have a family
People always told that if you killed a murderer that there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?
*My mom trying to get me to do dishes*
Mom: I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes.
Me: Why did you?
Mom: I was very drunk...
Explains a lot...
when you frend ask why dont you smile then you look at them and then rels no one there becase you have no frinds #my life
Why don't blind people skydive? -- Because it scares their dogs too much!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
why?
To get to the idiots house
Knock knock
Who's there
The chicken
Why are mountains allways tired? Becose they don't Everest
why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms ~ knock knock who's there? not sally ~ what first went through sally's head when the nazis came? a bullet ~ where did sally go when the bomb exploded? everywhere ~ what did sally get for christmas? a bike
Why doesn’t the US wanna play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers and the UK has a unkillable queen.
Why do orphans have water in their cereal? Because their dad never came home with the milk.
Why do orphans hate milk? Cause their family is still shopping for it!
Why can’t Indians play football...... cause every time they take a corner they make a shop
Why were the twin towers sad
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza but All they got was plane
Why are Americans so bad at clash Royale
Because they’ve already lost 2 towers
Why is it so easy bullying orphans They can’t tell their mom
