This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
Dad. Son who do you want to marry when you grow up? Son. A ugly girl. Dad. Why not a pretty girl? Son. A pretty one might run away. Dad. So and ugly one might to. Son. Yeah but who cares.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A husband comes home from work one day and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because in charge of sequence, Yoda was.
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team because everyone who can run jump and swim is already in America
why are dolphins so smart? Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
dentist: open up sir
me:so..i hate my life my family my sisters my dog my cat and i tried to take a bath with my toaster but my dog took it that's why i hate my dog and my cat died trying to chew my rope it choked.....yea
dentist: i.. meant your mouth .. so i can clean your teeth
me: :O ohhhh my bad
dentist : do u need help??
me: yep
dentist:...
me: ....
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?" His mother replies "to make myself beautiful Johnny." A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"
A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a "no". His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, "Why do you keep asking me to croak?" The granddaughter replies, "Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland."
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent he just uses the force.
Why done orphans get offended by dark humor?
It doesn’t hit home
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why are we depressed, is it because that bully in your school, or that you have acne, how about when you listen to you sad song playlist, maybe cause you have no friends, Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake. T^T
why do orphans eat cereal with water, because their dad never came home with the milk
"Son, I found a condom in your room."
"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down
