Why jokes
Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"
Why did Ms. Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr. Grapes 🍇?
Because she loves raisin kids.
Why don’t mountains catch colds?
They wear snow caps.
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
Why was ten scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Why was the ant so confused?
All of its uncles were ants.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?
Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
Why can't dwarfs be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
Why are women like KFC?
After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he died.