Why jokes
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"
Why did Ms. Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr. Grapes 🍇?
Because she loves raisin kids.
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
Why don’t mountains catch colds?
They wear snow caps.
Why was ten scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Memes
Why was the ant so confused?
All of its uncles were ants.
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.
Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?
Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he died.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
Q: Why did the young boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning?
A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”
Why are women like KFC?
After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV. His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuBuDuRDeEDeRdUuUuU!!!" "SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!!!"