I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
Why Jokes
A guy is due to meet his friends for drinks at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late.
The guy says, "Well, you won't believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."
The friends are cheering and one friend asks, "So... did you get any head?"
The guy replies, "No, I couldn't find it."
He sang a love song to a rat, yet stans are befuddled on why people keep calling their idol "Wacko Jacko".
Why couldn't the Japanese man give a high five?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a Viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" she asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well, that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."
Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest as flat as your back?
Why are people in Japan always skinny?
Because last time there was a "Fat Man", a whole city disappeared.
So, we all know that old kids' joke: why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Well, why was 10 scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 11.
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.
Person: Why'd you stop?
Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?
Liam: I like you both.
Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to paris.
Mother: That's means you like dad more.
Liam: No, its because i like paris.
Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to America.
Mother: Why?
Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?
Because there were too many knights.
Why do orphans hate going to Costco? Because they need a parent to get samples.
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land.
Why can't homeless people be gay?
They don't have a closet to get out of.
Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?
They both had an open mind.
Why do orphans play GTA?
So they can feel wanted.
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
Grandma: Young people your age are married by now, why aren’t you?
Me: Old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆
