Why jokes
Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
A guy is due to meet his friends for drinks at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late.
The guy says, "Well, you won't believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."
The friends are cheering and one friend asks, "So... did you get any head?"
The guy replies, "No, I couldn't find it."
Why couldn't the Japanese man give a high five?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
A pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers. The passenger asks, "Why did you become a pilot?" The pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says, "You're afraid of heights?" "No, I'm afraid of dying alone."
Memes
Why I come here instead of reddit nowadays >:\
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land.
So, we all know that old kids' joke: why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Well, why was 10 scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 11.
Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.
Person: Why'd you stop?
Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
Why can't homeless people be gay?
They don't have a closet to get out of.
Why do orphans hate going to Costco? Because they need a parent to get samples.
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆
Grandma: Young people your age are married by now, why aren’t you?
Me: Old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?
Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?
Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?
Because there were too many knights.
Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?
They both had an open mind.
Why do orphans play GTA?
So they can feel wanted.
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest as flat as your back?
Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?
The punchline isn’t apparent.