Why are Americans bad chess players?
They lost 2 towers.
Why Jokes
Why do orphans play GTA? Cause they wanna feel wanted.
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay people can play Star Wars.
Why can't you tell anyone about space?
Because it's too out of this world!
Why is America so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
Why can't orphans play at a McDonald's play place? They don't have parent supervision.
Why do orphans work boomerangs?
Because it's the only thing that comes back.
A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"
Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it's forbidden!
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest completely full of gold coins.
I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?
Because then they would be called bagels! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
