Why jokes
Why is America so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.
Memes
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
Why can't orphans play at a McDonald's play place? They don't have parent supervision.
Why do orphans work boomerangs?
Because it's the only thing that comes back.
Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it's forbidden!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?
Because then they would be called bagels! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest completely full of gold coins.
I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.