Why jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he was stapled to the punk rocker.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
Why did Spencer eat cheese?
Because he was Jewish.
Why did the legless kid think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.
Why do cows have hooves?
Because they lactose!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally!
Why was three afraid of two? Because he killed everyone!
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead!
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.
Why did Jake cross the road? To get a Hagen Daz bar.
Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
Just too bitter.
Why was Hitler bad at math?
He could only count to nein.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrrrrr!
Why did the robot cross the road?
Because he was programmed by the chicken!
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
An Aussie, an Asian, and a Frenchman are in a bar.
The Asian throws his whiskey in the air and shoots it. The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Asian says, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Frenchman throws his champagne in the air and shoots it. Then the Aussie asks, "Why did you do that?" The Frenchman replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Aussie then throws his beer up in the air and shoots the Asian. Then the Frenchman asked, "Why did you do that?" The Aussie then replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.