Why jokes
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?
He was snowed in.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.
Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
Why didn't the bear go to college?
Because bears don't go to college.
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
Because it was Luke warm.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.
Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.
Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos?
Because the sign says "No Tres passing."
If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.
Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change theirs more often.
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"
The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"
"Son, I found a condom in your room."
"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."