Why jokes
Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
Why didn't the bear go to college?
Because bears don't go to college.
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
Because it was Luke warm.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.
Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.
Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos?
Because the sign says "No Tres passing."
If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.
Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change theirs more often.
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"
The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"
"Son, I found a condom in your room."
"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out.
... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.
Yo mama was really the reason why the Titanic sunk.
A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."
Why did the octopus blush?
He saw the bottom of the ocean.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.