Why was the computer late to work?
Because it had a hard drive!
Why was the computer late to work?
Because it had a hard drive!
Why are wives also called a housekeeper?
Because after the divorce, they keep the house.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?
No more tears.
Why don't the Amish water ski?
The horses would drown.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!
Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?
Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
Why is there no gambling in Africa?
Too many Cheetahs.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?
Because there were too many knights.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
Why didn't anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.
Why don't North Koreans like jazz music?
Because they don't have soul.
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.