Why jokes
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play Monopoly?
How do you think Princess Diana died?
...Too soon?
Why was 6 so afraid of 7?
7 killed 6's parents.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It just felt like it.
8008135 is my favorite number.
The worst ratio is 6:9.
And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?
They only have 4.
Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?
So it could have sweet dreams.
Who are the fastest readers of all time?
People who jumped out of the Twin Towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no friends.
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
Why doesn't bread like warm weather?
It gets toasty!
Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again?
Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?
They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
Why didn’t the construction worker build a bridge?
He was scared to get across.
Why is the elephant headed God the true God?
Because he doesn't exist!
Why do orphans always get picked on?
They can't run and tell their parents.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...
I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.