Why jokes
Why are retards good at basketball?
'Cause they dribble all the time!
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.
A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost WiFi connection.
Why doesn't Santa have kids? Because he only comes once a year.
My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearing them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way, it made the funeral a bit awkward.
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
Why are smurfs blue?
Because they get bruises all the time.
Why did Arnold throw his clock out of the window?
It reminded him of Richard Clocks, a man convicted for knife raping his wife.
Justin: Hey.
Josh: Hey man.
Justin: Why only "man"?
Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.
Justin: I don't mind.
Josh: Okay, S L A V E.
Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!
Why is Lani Jesus? Go die.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To die.
Billy got a bike and a soccer ball for his birthday from his uncle, but he was very upset. Why? Because he has no legs.
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
Why can’t moons walk?
'Cuz they have no legs, stupid!
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"