Why jokes
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
Why did the penguin pull out a tooth? It was Mexican.
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?
Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Son: Why?
Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"
Why do men have penises?
They gotta shut women up somehow.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?
He couldn’t stand up for himself.
Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?
Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.
Why does the Sun go to school?
To get brighter!
Why does the Sun go to school?
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
Why does God hate me?
Because I'm a gay minority who fights for women's rights.