Why jokes
Why does my dad hate me? Really, please tell me, I'm tired of the constant abuse and pain.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick.
The bartender asks him why.
And the pirate says:
"Argh, It's driving me nuts."
Why are the twin towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain.
Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.
When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”
A little boy was given a bicycle and a soccer ball for his birthday, but why was the little boy unhappy?
Because the little boy had no legs.
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play Monopoly?
How do you think Princess Diana died?
...Too soon?
Why was 6 so afraid of 7?
7 killed 6's parents.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It just felt like it.
8008135 is my favorite number.
The worst ratio is 6:9.
And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?
They only have 4.
Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?
So it could have sweet dreams.
Who are the fastest readers of all time?
People who jumped out of the Twin Towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no friends.
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
Why doesn't bread like warm weather?
It gets toasty!
Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again?
Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.