Why can't an orphan get a vaccine?
They need parental permission.
Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?
Women were flying the plane.
Why do emos have friends?
So they can hang with each other.
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
Why did the turtle start flying? He was on a jet.
Why is your mom ugly, bozo?
Why couldn't the orphan have the bag of chips?
It was family size.
Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"