What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?
An orphan
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them." Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Who are the worlds fastest readers? The 9/11 suicide jumpers, they went through 110 stories in 5 seconds. Sorry.
What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?
A quarterback
I hate people who get offended here, like seriously it's called dark humor for a reason
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no bell prize.
Who's the best at musical chairs?
Stephen Hawking
There was a cannibal who had a wife and (eight) kids.
Did you here about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...
Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)
AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide? Dave: No. Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Who says Rihanna isn't charitable?
I mean, she found Johnny Depp for her fashion show, by scouting for people living in tents down in Skid Row.
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.
Knock knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said that you would never forget
Girl: I've been a orphan since I was three.
Boy: knock knock.
Girl: ..Who's there?
Boy: not your parents!
