Whos jokes
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
What do you call someone who makes a joke about Bread society?
The Doughker.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
SCP-1540 transforms in-front of a d-class:
D-class: Whoa dude, you’re a wolf!
SCP-1540: A am a were.
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
Memes
Like if u sleep naked
What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?
They get a discount at the crematorium.
Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?
I guess it really IS all in the execution.
"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"
"Claustrophobic!"
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c—
MOO!
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
Who is the least young Dave?
Dave-on.
What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant non-bi dairy?
Is someone who is tardy again actually "retardy"?
A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?
The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.
The gay couple was still packing their shit.
I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.
It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A money manager who counts bars.
Who is the oldest Dave?
Daveon.