When jokes
Yo mama so poor, when I rang her doorbell, she said, "Ding!"
You're so fat when you walk into the mall, you *are* the mall.
What's brown and white with red all over?
Terrorists when they went into the Twin Towers.
Your mama is so far that when she told a joke, no one was laughing, but the floor was literally cracking up.
When I saw someone jump out of one of the towers, I yelled, "Do a flip!"
Man I hate it when companies do this crap, now you can't commit toaster bath anymore
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.
Q. What do ghosts do when they get hurt?
A. They call an AmBOOlance.
When a pregnant lady gives birth, it looks like she is having an erection.
How do you know if a rapper's broke?
When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.
The person next to me on my flight was shocked when they found out I was Arabian. I lagged so hard my gerber almost fell out of my pocket.
Why did Stephen Hawking die when he logged onto Facebook?
It took all his info!
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
I like trees when they are firmly stuck in a hole. PS, your hole.
When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”
What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?
That’s assault!
What time is it when you walk walk? Time to trip and fall!
What did the parrot say when it saw a duck?
"Polly want a quacker!"
Worst joke ever.
I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:
"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."
....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.
RIP Meh Soul.
What do you get when you add 5 + 2 + 3 + 2 + 200 + 10?
Completely confuse you!
What did the man do when he caught his wife cheating on him?
He honor-killed her.