When jokes
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.
Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.
I cry when you leave the room. They're tears of joy because you have an ugly hairline.
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
When is rape normal?
When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.
Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.
My dad seen RuPaul's Drag Race?
Asked when will they do up the cars!
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.
Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.
The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.