Whats jokes
What do you call a swearing piece of shit?
Cus-turd.
Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly.
What did the Brit say to the American?
Well here comes fascism.
What hates men but would have no life without men?
A triggered feminist.
What first went through Sally’s head when the Nazis came?
A bullet.
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
What do you call a kid on the track team who isn't on the track team?
A school shooter.
What do you call a lesbian on a bike?
A dyke...
What moans about women but wouldn't exist without them? A triggered menimist.
What is an emo kid's favorite song?
"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
What kind of flower do orphans use? Self-raising.
What would an orphan call a family picture? A self-ie.
What's an orphan's dream job?
A builder, to build themselves a home.
What is missing when an orphan buys a laptop?
The home screen.
Why can't orphans play poker?
Because they don't know what a full house is.