Whats jokes
What is the difference between a blond and a Nazi?
The blond survived.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
What is an astronaut's favorite color? Zoo.
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"
The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."
What is black and at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking's after a fire.
What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that's just been raped.
What is the difference between a banana and a helicopter? Neither of them is a police officer.
What is a "dad?"
What do you call an Indian person who is not starving? Dead.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old.
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
What's red, white, and blue and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.