Whats jokes
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
... family photo.
What does a student always get on an alphabet test?
A!
What did the acute triangle say to the obtuse triangle?
Nothing, triangles can't talk.
What if Flappy Bird was with the Twin Towers?
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
Three men are working on a building site.
Every day, they sit down to eat their lunch together at the top of the building.
The first man opens his lunchbox to reveal a ham sandwich.
"By god," the man exclaims, "I hate ham sandwiches. I’ve been working in construction for twenty years, and every day, despite me telling her how much I despise it, my wife gives me a ham sandwich. If I get a ham sandwich in my lunch again, I will throw myself off the top of this building and kill myself."
The second man opens his lunchbox, revealing a cheese sandwich.
"Holy crow, another cheese sandwich! I hate these things, I tell you. Every day, I tell my wife how much I despise cheese sandwiches, but I still get them in my lunch. I’m with you buddy—if I ever get a cheese sandwich in my lunch again, I’m killing myself."
The third man, having opened his lunchbox, now pipes in.
"I don’t believe it—another tuna sandwich! If I had a penny for every time I’ve told my wife how much I hate these, I wouldn’t have to work on this sordid site no more! I’m sick of it—count me in, if I get a tuna sandwich in my lunchbox again, I’m killing myself."
The next day, the three men regroup at the top of the building and open their lunchboxes: the first man – a ham sandwich, the second – a cheese sandwich, the third – a tuna sandwich.
The three men exchange solemn looks before jumping in unison from the height of the building.
At the funeral for the three men, their grieving wives turn to each other.
"If only I’d known how much he didn’t like ham sandwiches," says the first man’s wife, "I always thought he was being ironic!"
"And if only I’d known how much he didn’t like cheese sandwiches," says the second man’s wife, "I always thought he was being sarcastic!"
"And if only I’d known how much he didn’t like tuna sandwiches," says the third man’s wife, "but I don’t know what good it would have done—the fool made his own lunch!"
What’s the hardest part about being a PEDO?
Fitting in.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What's an orphan's least favorite game?
Baseball because they can't find home plate.
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)
What do you call a chomo on the road? Roadkill.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.
What do you call a dog with no tail?
A tail-less dog.
What is an orphan's family reunion called?
Me time.
What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!
What's an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
Pope Francis: "What is the hardest thing about nailing a young boy to a cross?"
"My penis."
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common? Shooting up schoolchildren.
What’s the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator won’t fart when you pull the meat out.