Whats jokes
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?
The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.
What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.
What do dark humor and food have in common?
Some get it, some don't.
Why are orphans bad at Yahtzee?
Because they don't know what a full house is :(
Why don’t orphans play poker?
'Cause they don’t know what a full house is.
What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?
I don’t have a Tesla in my garage.
Q: What's the most popular dish in Africa?
A: The empty one!
What has two wings and an arrow?
A Chinese telephone. "Wing Wing Arrow!"
What is Mexicans' favorite sport?
Cross-country.
What does Kurt have in common with painters?
They paint walls.
What's bigger than Kurt Cobain's head?
What do you mean? He doesn't have one.
What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane?
A biplane.
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
What are wheelchair users experts at?
Being lazy.
So, a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist.
“What seems to be the problem?” the therapist asked.
“Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” they said.
So the therapist replies, “Oh dear, that must be a problem.”
“Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open, and the light is really bright.”
One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.
Karen walks into McDonald's.
Lady at the counter: HI what can I get for you today??
Karen: I want 1 SMALL FRIES PLEASE AND MAKE IT SNAPPY LITTLE NOODLE!
Lady at the counter: yes miss.
Karen: I WILL NOW INSPECT THIS.
Lady at the counter: *sweats*
Karen: THIS IS NOT SALTY ENOUGHT! GET ME THE MANAGER KNOW, SKINY NOODLE!