Whats jokes

What did Stephen Hawking have for breakfast? His left shoulder.

What happened when the depressed kid went to give it a high five?

It left him hanging.

What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.

Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.

What did the Chinese man say to his wife?

I'll chin you later.

Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*

Me: Uh, male?..

Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*

Me: You silly goose.

*Silence for like three seconds*

Me: Still male though-

What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?

America.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What's black and white, black and white, black and white...?

A dead nun rolling down a hill.

What’s the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked!

What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?

"Go fuck yourself... at the bottom of the sea."

What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?

The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.

What is a gay school boy's favorite grade?

D+.

What's the best way to find the Twin Towers?

Bucket.

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Suck a big dick.

What's a kidnapper's favorite White Vans?

What instrument do people like to listen to while having sex?

A sex-a-phone.

You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!

Orphan: What! No! Please no!

Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!

What's the grossest mission NASA could do?

Probing Uranus.

What do you call a fat woman that prays?

A holy cow.