Whats jokes
What is a necrophiliac's favorite band?
Coldplay.
What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"
What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
1. What's the difference between Dark humor and Morbid humor? Dark humor is 10 babies in 1 trash can and Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
2. What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
What do you call a blind German?
A notsee.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call a high school student?
Alone and depressed.
What’s wrong with a gay bbq?
All the hotdogs taste like shit.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.
What's worse than finding 10 babies in 10 dumpsters?
Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?
Me: Oh, I wan-
Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.
Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.