Whats jokes

What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?

They both light up the room.

What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.

What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.

What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?

A bath bomb.

What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.

The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.

What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.

What’s the difference between a child and a suicider?

One stays quiet forever...

What do you call a blind German?

A notsee.

A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”

The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.

“It’s really not your day, is it?”

I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.

What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.

What do you call a gay drive by?

A fruit roll up.

What do Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common? They both get turned on by kids.

What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.

What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?

Finger-food.

What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?

Ashtraynauts.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.

Daughter: Dad, what's your opinion on abortions?

Dad: Ask your sister.

Daughter: But I don't have a sister.

Dad: Exactly.

What’s wrong with a gay bbq?

All the hotdogs taste like shit.