Whats

Whats jokes

Dead Body

Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.

The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.

"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the coroner.

"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"

"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.

"He thought he was having his picture taken."

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  • Year

    What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?

    It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.

    Car Accident

    A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:

    "I have good news and bad news."

    The wife said: "What's the good news?"

    "We managed to save his arm."

    "What's the bad news?"

    "We couldn't save the rest of him."

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  • Memes

    Race

    What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?

    They both finished the races.

    Lung

    What did the lungs say to the cigar?

    "You take my breath away..."

    Dark Humor

    My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.

    Funeral

    What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex?

    She was too young.

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  • Michael Jackson

    What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

    He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.

    Life

    What's the difference between a knife and my life?

    A knife has a point.

    Baby

    What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

    One screams when I peel its skin off.

    Donald Trump

    What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?

    Poutine with Russian dressing!