What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?
It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.
Whats Jokes
What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:
"I have good news and bad news."
The wife said: "What's the good news?"
"We managed to save his arm."
"What's the bad news?"
"We couldn't save the rest of him."
What do you call a blind racist?
A not see.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
What do you call a peanut on the allergy table?
A kill streak.
What did the lungs say to the cigar?
"You take my breath away..."
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex?
She was too young.
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.
What's the difference between a knife and my life?
A knife has a point.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
What kind of dreams do hotels have?
Suite dreams.
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel its skin off.
What is the second hardest thing in the morning?
Getting up.
