Whats jokes
Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"
Mommy says, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play."
A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter.
Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so I took the scissors and cut them off."
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
What does a spy do when he's cold?
He goes under cover.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
What is the second hardest thing in the morning?
Getting up.
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?
It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.
So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.
What did Hitler kill himself with? A "Nein"-millimeter.
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
What did the lungs say to the cigar?
"You take my breath away..."
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”