Whats jokes

Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."

What has 6 legs, 10 arms, and 3 heads?

The Boston marathon finish line.

Everyone: What does NASA mean?

NASA's response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

Everyone: What does NASA mean?

Arinator's response: National Ariana and Space Ariana.

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.

The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."

The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."

The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"

What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?

Both are not a lamp.

What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.

What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.

What's a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.

What do French ducks say?

Quoi quoi.

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows. No body, nose.

Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said moving.

What do they call me when I jack off?

Pulled pork.

What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?

Catching it with a pitchfork.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Get in the car.

What is George Floyd's pickup line?

You are breathtaking.

What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang the picture.

What is a suicidal horny person's job?

A butcher.

What goes pop pop sizzle sizzle?

Two dead babies in an acid bath.

What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?

My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.