Whats jokes

What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?

You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!

What knight is never wrong?

Sir Tain.

What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?

Dam.

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?

Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.

What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?

Madeline McCann's bike.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

What did the French Fry 🍟 say to the Hamburger 🍔?

I guess that’s a wrap!

Why do New Yorkers get what Spider-Man is saying?

Because he always makes spider-sense.

What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"

What did the cow say at night? Look at the moooon.

What's the difference between a feminist and a pig?

There isn't one; they are both the same thing.

Q. What is the most endangered creature in India?

A. The baby girl.

A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"

Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"

The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"

A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"

The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."

The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?

He raped her.

Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?

They both have cum in it.

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? She gagged and moaned.

What do you call a bunch of Muslims in a bath?

A bath bomb.

What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.

What is a gathering of octopuses called?

Octoposse.