Whats

Whats jokes

Mom

    • I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.

    My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"

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    • Marriage

    • A young Greek couple got married, and at their wedding...

    ...the mother of the bride took the bride aside for a quick chat.

    "My sweet," she said, "you're now a woman. I'm so proud. Some advice for you now that you're married: Greek men are very particular, and at some point when you're making love to your new husband, he might suggest that you 'turn around,' if you know what I mean. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, do not feel pressured to say yes."

    The bride thanked her mother for the advice, and the wedding continued. That night, as she and her husband consummated the marriage, she was mildly surprised to learn that he never asked her to 'turn around.'

    They spent a beautiful week together on their honeymoon and made love many times. But still, to her mild surprise, her husband never asked her to 'turn around.'

    Their one year anniversary arrived, and they made love to celebrate the milestone. But again, to her mild surprise, the husband never asked her to 'turn around.' This continued for years: their second anniversary, third, fourth...

    Finally, on their fifth anniversary, her husband started getting romantic with her in bed and said, "Honey, we've been married for five years. I was thinking we maybe try something new. I thought this time you could 'turn around,' if you know what I mean."

    She replied, emphatically, "No! No, I do not do that, I am not that kind of woman!"

    Without getting defensive, her husband simply said, "That's all well and good, honey. But I thought you said you wanted children?"

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    • Whats memes

    Hand

    • If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

    Big hands.

    Anal Sex

    • What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?

    One will make your day, and the other will make your hole weak.

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    • Taco

    • I always talk to my taco before I eat it.

    One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!

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    • Morning

    • What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?

    A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.

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    • Dark Humor

    • *Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."

    Person 2: "Probably Bullets."

    Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"

    Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."

    Person 1: "...."

    Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."

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    • Onion

    • What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.

  • 0

    • Stool

    • Three gay guys walk into a bar.

    There is only one stool left, what do they do?

    They flip the stool over.

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    • Timmy

    • There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.

    They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.

    Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.

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