Whats jokes

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One's a good year, and one's a great year.

What do women and pools have in common?

They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.

What do you call someone that no one loves?

An orphan.

What's the difference between a gun and a penis?

The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.

What do cheetahs wear to work?

They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!

What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?

Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."

What has two legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.

Little Jonny, what you like airplane? How? Because you fly fast and jump high.

What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.

What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady?

Answer: You can unscrew a lightbulb, but you can’t unscrew a lady.

What's great about having sex with twenty-eight year olds?

There's ate of them.

What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs?

Names.

Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.

She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didn’t know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husband’s joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husband’s schlong to his pelvis.

The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,

"Honey, if you think I’ll be screwed by you for more of that, you’re out of your mind."

What do you call a burning church?

Holy smokes.

What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?

Do you want to hang later?

I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.

I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"

He gave me a book.

It was the Quran.

I said, "What the hell is that?"

He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."

What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?

Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!

What do you call a whale on a beach?

Banked.

What did the kid say to the emo?

"Don't leave me hanging!"