Whats jokes
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
What do you call a cow with no legs?
A cow with no legs.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
... YO MAMA SOO, Oh wait...
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Get in the car.
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
Memes
Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said moving.
What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.
What's the city with the fastest growing population?
Ireland, cuz it's Dublin everyday!
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows. No body, nose.
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
A boy and girl are fucking. The girl yells "Senpai!" The boy smiles, pleased, but then her father walks in and says "What?"
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
What did Michael Jackson say when he became a triangle? Tetraheehee!
Q: What does Pakistan love to do with India when they go to war?
A: Surrender their 93,000 soldiers.
A friend texts to another:
"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"
The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"
To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"
"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.
The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."
Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
What does Helen Keller say when she touches a basketball?
Duhhuuughhhr.