Whats jokes
What do you call a Russian pharmacist?
"Ivan Astichestykov."
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.
Yo, sis, come here.
Sis: What?
Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?
Sis: Yup.
Me: Can I go?
Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.
Me: I love you.
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.
The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."
The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."
What do you call a train that likes toffee?
A chew-chew train.
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
What did the blind kid say after touching the emo kid’s hand?
“I ain’t reading all that.”
What do you call a stoned kid with Down syndrome?
A baked potato.
What’s the best song to play when visiting Africa?
"Have You Ever Seen the Rain?"
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
What is the best way to deal with bullies?
You shoot them.