Whats jokes

What's white with black spots? A cotton field from above.

What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.

What's an emo's favorite Pink Floyd album?

The Final Cut.

What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?

The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.

What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.

What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.

What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?

Nothing, I cut both of them.

What do you call a man off the ground?

Hanged.

Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."

Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."

Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."

Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."

Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly girl? The Twin Towers at least got fucked.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?

The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.

What kind of experience does a feminist have?

Being a bitch.

What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?

Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!

What starts with M and ends with arriage?

Miscarriage. Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?

Neither does the child.

What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.

What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.

Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?

A. Calculus homework.