Whats jokes

What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.

What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).

What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?

One of them knows the definition of no.

What do incest families do on Halloween?

Pumpkin.

What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.

What's an emo's favorite Pink Floyd album?

The Final Cut.

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.

What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.

What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.

What do you call a man off the ground?

Hanged.

What's a suicidal person's favorite game?

Hangman.

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.

Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."

Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."

Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."

Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."

Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*

What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?

Nothing, I cut both of them.

What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?

They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped?

alien vs predator

What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?

The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

What's white with black spots? A cotton field from above.

What kind of experience does a feminist have?

Being a bitch.