Whats jokes
When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"
She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
Error, error, error.
System shutting down.
What do you call an appetite including apples? Appletite.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
What happens when two walls meet?
They are cornered.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
What sits in the corner and gets smaller and smaller? A baby with a potato peeler.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels! We'll see him soon.
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
Some people don't appreciate what I do for a living.
oo----- ()
What is black and white and red all over?
... a newspaper!
What do you call a policeman/farmer?
A farmer in blue!
There's a truck full of babies. What's worse than that? One baby being alive. What's worse than that? That baby having to eat its way out. What's worse than that? That same baby coming back from seconds.
What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?
Joshua Metcalfe
What did the ball say to the other ball? "You're baller!"
What do you call a person who tries to get you on a dating website... a Brodie.
What's the song that plays at the very end of the movie, Dr. Strangecow, during the montage of nuclear blasts?
"Veal meat again, don't know where, don't know when..."
What do you call a mug? A mug dummy.
I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"