Whats jokes
What is the best part of being an orphan?
Every bag of chips is family sized.
What do you call a disabled person drowning?
A boat.
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red?
My ex-wife.
What borders on stupidity?
Scotland and the EU.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.
What is an orange cucumber?
A carrot, duh!
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.
What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.
What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?
Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.
Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?
Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.
Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.
What’s the difference between my mom and the Twin Towers?
My mom got hit by two cars. The Twin Towers got hit by two planes.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked.
Q: What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
A: Apples get picked.
What is bigger than an elephant but smaller than two elephants?
A different sized elephant.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
What do farts fly with?
Smellicopters!
What falls quicker off a tree? The leaf or the emo?
The leaf, because the emo is stopped by the rope.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
What's white, yellow and goes 40 mph?
A train driver's egg sandwich.
What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?
They can both flash.