Whats jokes
Q: What's yellow and can't swim?
A: A school bus full of children.
What's the difference between the microphone and Bambi?
One is a Welsh idea, the other's a well shy deer.
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?
"Now sashimi, now you don't!"
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?
"What's up?"
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
What do you call a pig doing a karate chop?
What do you call a bear with no ears? A b.
Yeah, that joke was unbearable.
What did the boyfriend say to his girlfriend?
What's 12 inches long and begins with a p?
A shit.
What is God's favorite planet?
Saturn because it has a ring around it.
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
What is the difference between a human being in the car?
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.
Sister: No, I won't stop.
Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.
Sister: What? You will see when I post it.
Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?
Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.
What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?
They both hit me face down on the table.
What does your mum have in common with your dad?
They are both men.
What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do for you? And dinner, dinner, and what, yyyuyy dinner? 🍴 Night time.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a piece of shit? A. Shit isn't orange.
What movie do orphans relate to the most?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home." (Either that or Batman.)