"Well," he says, "It's what mommy calls me sometimes."
The little girl screams, "Don't eat it! It's a fucking asshole."
"Well," he says, "It's what mommy calls me sometimes."
The little girl screams, "Don't eat it! It's a fucking asshole."
What happens when you bring a paedophile to a baby's birthday party?
You will have even more birthday parties to go to.
What do you get when you throw a pebble in the ocean?
A wet pebble.
- What do you call a bee who flew to United States? - "USB"
What do you call mo on a dating website? Tissue face.
What do you call a dick that's too small to see?
Tick-tack dick.
What did the skeleton say after dinner?
Bon appétit!
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.
What is the skeleton's favorite instrument?
A xylophone.
Stormtrooper: What happened to the Jedi Order?
Palpatine: Slew it!
Q: What did the sign say on the whore house?
A: Beat it, we're closed.
What's the difference between anal and oral sex?
An and Or!
What did the one ocean say to the other? Nothing, it just waved.
A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something. A guy walks up to him and says, "What's wrong, pal? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned aisle!"
What games do you play if you are bored?
Board games.
What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A violin has "strings" and a fiddle has "strangs."
What do you call a person without a nose and who doesn't know much?
Nose-less.
What's small, stupid, and has no dad?
Ben.
What's green and furry?
Fiona from Shrek.
What do you call a girl with only one arm and leg?
Eileen.