Whats jokes
What is the difference between snow boots and snow boots and walk home?
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
What kind of punch hurts a kid the most?
A sandy hook.
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
What is your true crush?
A soda crush.
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.
What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders. 😊
What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? Bob.
What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod.
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
What's Yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of dead babies.
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Deja Vu.
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
What does the B in Benoît B. Mandelbrot stand for?
Benoît B. Mandelbrot.
What’s the difference between Rosa Parks and Muhammad Ali?
One fought for freedom, the other fought for fun.
So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.
Then I told him, "What are you doing?"
He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.
He then told me how easy would that be?
I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."
Fritz Cheng was asked to write three articles on the subject. He went to his grandmother and advised her: "Question: Kill people! I am sorry, Mr. Fritz, I am looking for his brother—what do you suggest?"
Brother: "I'm Superman. I am Superman!"
Fritz remembers entering the room. That's Alfredo's question in front of the TV: "Do you have any advice?"
Fritz tells a story from his school days. "Remember our words?" said Professor Fleck. "An artist? Is that true? Frison, who are you?"
"I am Superman. I'm Superman," he said. "I hope to meet the president."