Whats

Whats jokes

Perv

What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?

Alien vs. Predator.

Child

What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?

The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.

Orphan

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Lion

What did the lion say to the lion tamer? Nothing, because when the lion tamer whipped the lion, the lion killed him.

Child

My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.

Jesus

What's the difference between Jesus and a hooker?

The face you make when you nail them.

School

What is the difference between a tree and a school?

A school is for kids, and a tree is for birds.

Whore

What do condoms and whores have in common?

Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.

Will

Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.

Tree

What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?

One's a fucking tree.

Restroom

Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?

Answer: European (You're-a-peein')

Suicide

A man walks into a library.

Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"

Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"

Suicidal Man: ...

Librarian: ...

The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"