Whats jokes
Son: Dad, how was I born?
Dad: Your mum's a hoe.
Son: OK, what's a hoe?
Dad: Your mum.
What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?
They lower you.
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of kids.
What's a depressed kid's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
What do you call a group of depressed people?
Suicide squad.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers after 3 periods.
Me: What did my sister do when she dressed up as Elsa and I gave her a balloon?
You: What?
Me: She let it go, let it go!
What is Stephen Hawking's best side?
The left.
What's an emo kid's favorite movie?
Suicide Squad.
A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.
What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?
Parents' evening.
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!
What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?
"Would you stop bugging me!"
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"