Whats jokes
What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?
His hide-and-seek skills.
What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?
Hairy Potter.
What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.
What did the man say about someone who had a seizure?
"Jit was lagging."
What would you rather be, emo or handicapped?
Trick question, emo is a handicap.
Memes
What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?
I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
What is an orphan's favorite day?
Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.
What do a circle and a sphere have in common?
They're round, and round is a shape.
What's the difference between you and me?
I have a plan for this new year.
So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.
What do Hiroshima and Herobrine have in common?
They're not heroes.
What did the emo say to the popular kid?
"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."
What did the horses say to the donkeys?
"Jackasses, please like!"
What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
What's the difference between an orphan and Daniel Larusso?
At least Daniel has a mom.
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
What do you call an orphan at a construction site?
Child labor.
What is Stephen Hawking's best side?
The left.
What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?
Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?
Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.
Fat guy: Thinking.